February 2012
Mom: Matt, what would you do if you fell in love with a girl, but she turns out to be a Manchester City supporter?
Me: I'd break up with her instantly, mom.
Mom: Seriously?
Me: United. Kids. Wife. In that order, mom.
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When you get into a fight..
this is how you think you look:
but this is how you really look:
More Laughs Here
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the difference between "gamer girls" and girls who...
gamer girl: omgggg modern warfare 4 lyfeee
girls who play video games: GOD DAMN IT MARIO. IS IT THAT FUCKING HARD TO STAY ON RAINBOW ROAD FOR MAYBE TEN SECONDS. OH MY FUCKING GOD PEACH YOU FUCKING WHORE. YOU REALLY HAD TO USE THE THUNDER CLOUD AND FUCKING SHRINK ME. REALLY. THIRD. I'M IN THIRD PLACE OH MY GOD YES THANK JESUS LORD ABOVE IN THE HEAVENS. FUCK. NO. I FELL OFF. I SWEAR TO GOD MARIO I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUR ITALIAN PLUMBER MOTHER FUCKING ASS. i hate my life.
BREAKING: ABSCBN & GMA7 will pay tribute to...
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